(Fear Of) Dirty Laundry

Some people may just call this OCD, but in my mind, it is so much more than that.  Having a stain on my clothes and not having clean clothes is an irrational, yet legitimate, fear of mine.  I may not even be wearing an item of clothing for long and I still throw it in the dirty laundry because you never know.  I can just imagine sitting at lunch during school and spilling on myself, which would then lead to me getting called out to go home and change.  My friends would then laugh and question why I was making such a small thing a big deal, but I don’t succumb to peer pressure.  Nope, not me.   

I’ve always been an extremely neat and tidy person, so if my clothes were to be dirty, it would throw everything off.  Why?  It just would.  I have learned to accept this.  I first realized that this was a fear of mine as a child when my grandma was babysitting my siblings and I.  I don’t remember what spilled on my shirt; however, I remember that it was smack dap right in the middle for everyone to stare at.  I asked my grandma if I could go change my shirt and she said no because we weren’t going anywhere and she didn’t want me to get another shirt dirty.  I guess she did not know how much stress this stain was causing me.  After being told no, I then proceeded to get a wet wash cloth, hid behind a chair, and starting scrubbing furiously, hoping that it would magically disappear.  My grandma found me soon enough and said I could go change, which I immediately did.  Why didn’t I just go change in the first place?  Why did I have to ask for my grandma’s permission? I don’t know.

Today, I would simply go change without asking anyone.  That would just be silly.  My family may make fun of me for how much laundry I have, but that is fine by me.  I’ll fold all the clean laundry my mom dumps on the couch, even if it were to be a mountainous pile, which it normally is considering we have seven people in my house.  I know those clothes are clean, and believe it or not, that makes me happy.